A Wonderful Dream
So since my grandma has passed I have really been having a hard time. Questioning things, like is there life after death? Why did HE take her away from us? Why would HE make her so sick for so long when she was the most generous, loving, caring person I’ve ever known? Yes I have doubted God this past few weeks. Not good I know but I have. I talked to my mom and told her of a BAD dream I had about my grandma. It was the first time I said it outloud to someone. The bad dream made it even harder to believe she was truly in a beautiful place. But 2 nights ago I had the most amazing, lifelike dream I have ever had. It was one of those dreams that you can feel, see, smell, everything. It felt like an out of body experience. As soon as I woke up I was in tears but felt at peace for the first time in almost a month. I took notes of what I could remember so I would be able to remember this dream for ever, which is why I’m blogging about it!
So here was my dream:
I was at my grandmas house, seeing everyday life (my uncle lives there with his family). And I kept seeing my grandma. It was like she was there standing in front of me. I was having conversations with her and made a comment that my uncle would think I was crazy. She informed me that they didn’t know I was there and they didn’t know she was there either. We talked for what seemed like hours. I did most of the talking and she answered all my questions. One thing that stands out in my mind is that she was happy, at peace. I can’t honestly remember ever seeing or feeling so much happiness from her. I cried, a lot and she kept telling me she was ok. She told me things, things I wouldn’t have known on my own. She asked about the kids and I told her I had a job. She told me she wasn’t worried anymore about me (she used to worry all the time). I told her how hard this has been and how I miss her so much. I told her that when I saw her at the viewing that it didn’t look like her lying there. She told me “that’s because it wasn’t me. I am here, this is me. And I am ok. I am always here for you, always.”. Then she laughed and told me she didn’t like the makeup they put on her body. That made us laugh together, which was nice. She did say that she liked her outfit that my mom picked out for her. She mentioned about a song…all I can remember is Morgan…I don’t know if that is part of a name of a song or if it is the singer?? Don’t know. But I did wake up singing an Andrea Bocelli song that she loved. Eventually I told her I had to get ready for work and had to shower. She said ok and she hung out in the bathroom with me while I got ready. I of course forgot my shampoo and she told me to go ahead and use her Strawberry Shampoo, that strawberry was her favorite. (Now, know that I haven’t been in her house for a couple of years and had NO clue what kind of shampoo she uses.) When I told my mom this she informed me that when she as at my grandmas house those last couple of days she showered and used my grandmas strawberry shampoo 🙂 I didn’t know this until I told my mom of my dream. After my shower I got to see her and my Uncle Johnny (her brother who passed a couple days prior to my grandmas passing). They were so happy. I asked them if they were in any pain, they said no that they felt great and were very happy. I joked and asked if they were building a casino, and they told me there was one ready for them when they got there. It was a very nice dream. I like to think that I really did talk to her that night while I slept and I like to believe that she is ok and happy and watching over me. She eventually told me it was time to go…it was time to say goodbye.